Stockholm, 21 October 2010. Trendy bar.

March 29, 2011

This is no Orleans.
the mirrors of the beautiful
surround me
In a cacophony of monkey voices
Dreaming
of minimalist sofa groups
Lust? Allowed, but through ethanol curtains
Desire – can’t find no parking space
Everybody answers their phones
and that’s a lie too
(voice mail smells like success on Thursdays)

mama, let me get thousands of roses,
your grave matters
are the only valid ones and
the Dog is out in the cold too
while understanding faces
Repeat last week’s lottery numbers and
the wronged
dream of shopping and spa treatments
Not me though,
I only want
The blonde across the bar

so tell me nothing, stranger,
we are children only of salt
and our blood and come
keep us from slipping
on winter roads

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12 Responses to “Stockholm, 21 October 2010. Trendy bar.”

  1. CatGem said

    love the way you write!

  2. claudia said

    no orleans and ethanol curtains and voice mail smells like success on Thursdays…love this one anton – just wondering…will DM you..

  3. wkkortas said

    In my view, the final two stanzas of the piece are its greatest strength–I find them reminiscent of “The Waste Land”, both in their world-weariness and their power. The first stanza strikes me as a bit less cohesive the final two, but those stanzas are hard to live up to; they rank with anything I have read in months, perhaps years.

  4. forpuck said

    WK, when I read it now I get what you mean. This was written in a bar doing my usual movement of outwards intake of life towards inwards reflection. You are probably right that the transition could be smoother. I honestly never thought about until you pointed it out, but now it’s quite obvious.

  5. poemblaze said

    Dreaming of minimalist sofa groups is definitely a nightmare!

    Great poem. The mention of The Waste Land above seems dead on. The ending landed perfectly.

  6. Very expressive is your work, I like it so much.

  7. Gay said

    Last two stanzas very strong as noted above. Definitely had an Eliot feel to it, but not locked into his time frame; also had an edgy leakiness as though time dripped sex, alcohol,and with it ebbed reason. Sharp and really well done.

  8. Brilliant economy of language and intense imagery make this an exceptional creative work. I enjoyed it immensely.
    Thank you, James.

  9. brian said

    pop pop…i like this…from the line in parenthesis…to the lottery numbers…it really picks up steam…excellent one shot!

  10. Having just finished reading apartment 16, where the surreal and ugliness of the people of London come to life through abstract art, this made perfect sense to me. You’re a people watcher, like that.

  11. forpuck said

    Thanks everyone for your comments. Much appreciated.

  12. signed .............bkm said

    Love your work….the salt and blood the streets of ice…so well done thank you for sharing..bkm

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