The snow fell slowly

March 21, 2011

The snow fell slowly.
lonely flakes drifted downwards
in diagonal memory lanes
of purple,
from a stage
where a band kept their smiles on like light bulbs,
panting washed out hits
over a mellow crowd

The base banged my lungs like a drum, while vodka and red bull
made my legs twitch.
I started dancing in the snow,
like a fool but for real,
as the hi-hat poked my gut like a finger.

She was smirking at me
and I said:
“Sophie, don’t. We are only alive for seconds.”


6 Responses to “The snow fell slowly”

  1. wkkortas said

    Whether or not the snow is to be taken literally, there is a very surreal feel to the piece. Despite that, the writing is enviably tight and well-paced, and the tone (especially given the epigrammatic final line) is almost wistful. It’s admirably visual for something so brief, and it is some damn fine writing.

  2. claudia said

    dang! we are only alive for seconds – hit me in the stomach
    what i esp. like was the “like a fool but for real”
    cause it captures the honesty in surreal moments like this

  3. CatGem said

    so very true…

  4. Chris G. said

    Layered piece, one with literal as well as more subtle, metaphorical tones lying beneath it…a potent sense of description coupled with a good flow, and an altogether thought-provoking piece. “We are only alive for seconds” leaves the reader gasping for the implications…powerful blow you leave us with. Raw and beautiful.

  5. dustus said

    “flakes drifted downwards
    in diagonal memory lanes
    of purple,”
    Effective visual in a tight write.

  6. brian said

    better make each one of them count…there is something too about how alive you feel int aht crowd at a concert jumping up and down that adds to this…

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