Conveyor belt

October 24, 2010

We waited for our bags,
people flowing around us.
the stream of the luggage of lives
pulling the luggage of things,
Souls keen to exit in the green lane

I was already
my grey plastic life on wheels
by my side;
hers was taking some time

awkwardness spreads slowly,
(airplane friendships last
until the farewell smile of the stewardess
eats your connection).

‘I guess I have to get moving, I hope that
your bag

‘Thanks, I hope you get
that report done in time’

then silence.

I hope she got her luggage in the end,
I just never could stand
long goodbyes

18 Responses to “Conveyor belt”

  1. Claudia said

    … i like how you describe this strange feeling of coming close during a trip and then .. yeah – the oxygene….hope you got your report done on time

  2. Captures the full mood of good-byes. Solid, distinctive-toned work, as usual.

  3. This is excellent! Perfect snapshot; a captured moment as it slips away.

  4. I hate goodbyes too, airport is always a place for Excel with the always raw 🙂

  5. brian said

    nice. i have made several friends on planes that i will forget with in a day or two…until you stirred that dust…nice one shot!

  6. Gay Cannon said

    Yeah – captured that weird awkwardness – like a good date that has no possibility of follow up. I liked it. Good work. Gay @beachanny

  7. Solid interpretation and write with regard to saying good bye. Nice write. Love and Light, Sender

  8. 3rd stanza has issues. Clean it up. If you condense it, you’ll need to condense the last 4 stanzas; if you stretch it out, you might be able to keep the end.

  9. Great perspective. So many profound conversations happen in a plane and in the end you realize you don’t even know his/her name! Nicely expressed.

  10. forpuck said

    Thanks everyone for your kind words.

    @KW – You have a point, I’ve fiddled with it a bit, but may revise again. Thanks

  11. Shashi said

    What a beautiful analysis of friendship onbaord… each one in his own hurry towards his own destination, have no time for long good byes… I agree..

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    Twitter: @VerseEveryDay

  12. Melissa said

    I like this. I always have a hard time putting moments into poetry, this is great! “until the farewell smile of the stewardess
    eats your connection).” I really like that line!

  13. dustus said

    “eats your connection” what a line. The trailing effect of “your bag gets here” adds a great auditory effect to her movements.

  14. forpuck said

    Thanks everyone

    @adam Thanks, I wanted to slow down the pace towards the end, and kind of break the flow.. The eats your connection line is courtecy of KW, who’s critique about the third stanza made me un-laze mysef and re-write it.

  15. mona said

    This is so typical. You make it sound so special. It happens all the time!

  16. thouroughly enjoyed reading this..cheers pete

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