Diving towers

September 14, 2010

Wicked with sadness
Boys lost in mazes of candy
Fill their glasses with honey
Drink until they gag and retch

Aroused by the sounds
And their own long necks
Girls climb diving towers
Just because they want to

Boys spit and cheer
Eyes reaching upward
Where girls wear skirts
On top of diving towers

Haughty girls look down
At boys the size of ants
Jump with gleeful squeals
Leaps that last a lifetime

The sounds of their splashes
Intertwine with sound
Of cymbals some marching band
Just cannot stop banging

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18 Responses to “Diving towers”

  1. reading this with my raw black coffee in hand, makes a very nice beginning for my full long day to be..SPECTACULAR! 😉

  2. wkkortas said

    I noticed the Dali tag…Dali-esque in the odd, borderline surreal images–which is more difficult to do effectively in poetry than it is in painting.

  3. forpuck said

    DR, I hope your day was indeed spectacular, glad you liked it.

    Wkkortas – I kind of had that vision of a richly red orange landscape, I didn’t set out for it to be surreal, only realised that towards the end.

  4. Such vivid pictures your poem portrays! I can
    almost see the dive, feel the spray as the body
    plummets beneath the surface of the water.

  5. brian said

    ha. like the inclusion of the band banging it adds another layer to this poem…nice use of imagery…great one shot!

  6. Head banging. Now I like that thought. I love such music!

    nowhere island

  7. Glynn said

    Boys – wicked with sadness — girls — haughty, looking down. You captured a very familiar part of youth — and adulthood. Excellent.

  8. That second to last stanza really does it for me. The image of the haughty girls looking down at the boys, and leaps that last a lifetime. Good stuff.

  9. dustus said

    Really like the second half of the poem and the last line is killer. Great One Shot!

  10. Nice, I agree with WKKortas. Your poem has a surreal quality to it. Very visual. Enjoyed.

  11. forpuck said

    Thank you everyone for the kind words!

  12. Shashi said

    Kind of interesting playful game of cymbals and splashes…
    Like it.
    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya

  13. Eric Alder said

    You’ve described this scene very well – I feel like I’ve witnessed it myself. Nice One Shot!

  14. forpuck said

    Thanks again guys. So many comments!

  15. john said

    Oh the tensions of pleasure and emerging adulthood. Thanks for reading and commenting on my poem. Hope your week goes well.

  16. Jingle said

    lovely piece.
    well said.

  17. hollyheir said

    Well not sure exactly what everyone else read because I read their comments then read the poem again. Might just be me, but I thought it was all about sex, perhaps pubescent sex where girls are so intimidating to boys and they must seem like towering beasts whom they nevertheless want to dive down on them. But as it’s meant to be somewhat surreal; well I could just be wrong. Provocative and brilliant all the same.
    Gay (@beachanny)

  18. forpuck said

    Gay is right because she is awesome.

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